We all want to have healthy relationships, but most of us were never taught what that entails. Here are my top tips for having a good, healthy relationship as a therapist with over a decade of experience working with couples. Being communicative and proactive is essential.
5 Signs Your Partner is Cheating!
Infidelity can be traumatic and is one of the more challenging problems faced in a relationship. While many people are blindsided if and when they find out about a spouse or partner cheating, others may suspect infidelity because of actions that are out of the norm. Take this test to find out if your partner is cheating.
13 Tips on How To Have a Healthy Relationship 2022
1. Recreate the activities you engaged in during your first year of dating.
We tend to slink into our proverbial sweatpants and become lazy in our relationships as the months and years pass. We lose our patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding, and overall effort toward our mate. Consider the first year of your relationship and write down everything you did for your partner. Start doing them again.
2. Ask what you want.
We gradually come to believe that our partner knows us so well that we don't need to ask for what we want. What happens when this assumption is made? Expectations are formed, and then quickly deflated. Unmet expectations can cause us to doubt the viability of our partnership and connection. Remember that "asking for what you want" includes everything from emotional to sexual desires.
3. Learn everything you can about your partner.
Consider who your mate truly is and what physically and emotionally excites them. We can become preoccupied with what we believe they want rather than tuning in to what truly resonates with them. Keep in mind that if something is important to your partner, it does not have to make sense to you. You simply must do it.
4. Ask questions other than "How was your day?"
After a long day, we have a tendency to mentally check out of our lives and, as a result, our relationships. "How was your day?" is a standard question. But, because we hear that question so frequently, many of us will automatically respond with the bare minimum: "Fine. How did yours go? " This does nothing to improve your connection and may even harm it by removing the opportunity to connect on a regular basis.
If your initial "How was your day?" elicits little response, try asking more creative follow-up questions, such as "What made you smile today?" or "What was the most difficult part of your day?" You'll be astounded by the responses you receive, with the added benefit of learning more about your significant other.
5. Establish a weekly ritual for checking in with each other.
It can be brief or lengthy, but it always starts with asking each other what worked and what didn't work the previous week and what can be done to improve things this week. Use this opportunity to get on the same page with your schedules, plan a date night, and talk about what you want to see happen in your relationship in the coming days, weeks, and months. Unmet needs and resentments can accumulate if a temperature check is not made on purpose.
5 Signs Your Partner is Cheating!
Infidelity can be traumatic and is one of the more challenging problems faced in a relationship. While many people are blindsided if and when they find out about a spouse or partner cheating, others may suspect infidelity because of actions that are out of the norm. Take this test to find out if your partner is cheating.
6. Keep it sexy.
What would happen in your relationship if you and your partner both committed to increasing the behaviors you both find sexy and limiting the ones you don't? Consider this in its broadest sense. "Sexy" can certainly refer to bedroom preferences, but it also represents what we enjoy about our partner in our daily lives. Do you think it's sexy when they help you with the housework? Do you think it's "unsexy" that they use the restroom with the door ajar? Discuss exactly what it means to "keep it sexy" in your relationship. Be amazed, amused, and inspired.
7. Be creative with how you spend your time together.
Break free from the "dinner and a movie" routine and see how a little variety can truly revitalize your relationship. On a tight budget and unable to go big? Searching for "cheap date ideas" on the internet will leave you speechless at the abundance of options. Can't afford to hire a sitter? Swap babysitting duties with friends who have children. It's free, and they'll probably be thrilled to take your kids because they'll be able to take advantage of it when they drop their kids off at your house.
8. Get it on.
Unless you are in an asexual relationship, sex and touch (kissing, holding hands, cuddling, and so on) are essential components of a romantic relationship. Of course, how much sex a couple has is up to the individual couple, so it's critical that you discuss your thoughts on it in order to manage any desire discrepancy. Rarely are both partners "in the mood" at the same time, but in general, most people "get there" after the first few minutes, even if they weren't initially in the mood.
9. Take a daily (mental) vacation.
Life and work distractions can take precedence in our minds, leaving little time or energy for our partner. Learn how to "Wear the Relationship Hat." This means that, unless there are any emergencies or deadlines, we are fully present with our mate. We truly hear what they are saying (rather than pretending to), we leave our distractions at the door, and we don't pick them up again until the sun rises and we walk out.
10. Take "fight breaks" when necessary.
When disagreements arise, remember to approach them thoughtfully and with compassion for both your partner and yourself. If you notice that the tension in a conversation about a conflict is rising, one or both of you should take a break so that cooler heads can prevail. The crux of this tool is that you must choose a specific time to revisit the conversation (for example, 10 minutes from now, 2 p.m. on Tuesday, etc.) in order to achieve closure.
5 Signs Your Partner is Cheating!
Infidelity can be traumatic and is one of the more challenging problems faced in a relationship. While many people are blindsided if and when they find out about a spouse or partner cheating, others may suspect infidelity because of actions that are out of the norm. Take this test to find out if your partner is cheating.
11. When in disagreement, dig deep to discover your true feelings.
Most disagreements are communicated from the "top layer," which includes obvious emotions like anger, annoyance, and so on. Leading from this position can cause confusion and defensiveness, ultimately distracting from the real issue. Begin communicating from the "bottom layer," which are the emotions driving your reactions, such as disappointment, rejection, loneliness, or disrespect.
Because sharing from this space necessitates honesty and vulnerability, this type of expression elicits an immediate sense of empathy. Tension will dissipate, and solutions will emerge. Simply use kind, nonreactive phrasing to express these bottom layer feelings, such as "I was hurt by..." instead of "You're such a jerk," and so on.
12. Seek to understand rather than agree.
The concept is simple, but the implementation is difficult. Conversations quickly devolve into arguments when we are invested in hearing our partner admit that we were correct or when we are determined to change their mind. Rather than waiting for your significant other to concede, approach a conversation as an opportunity to understand their point of view. From this vantage point, we can have an interesting conversation while avoiding a blowout or lingering frustration.
13. Make your sincere apologies count.
It's common knowledge that apologizing is a good thing, but it only has real meaning when you mean it. "I'm sorry you feel that way," "I'm sorry you see it that way," and "I'm sorry if I upset you" are all unnecessary expressions. Even if you disagree that your actions were wrong, you will never be able to argue a feeling.
Accept that your partner is upset. A genuine apology can have a significant impact from this vantage point. When you love your partner and inadvertently or intentionally hurt them, you can always legitimately apologize for the pain you caused, regardless of your point of view on what you did or did not do.
5 Signs Your Partner is Cheating!
Infidelity can be traumatic and is one of the more challenging problems faced in a relationship. While many people are blindsided if and when they find out about a spouse or partner cheating, others may suspect infidelity because of actions that are out of the norm. Take this test to find out if your partner is cheating.
You are now fully equipped with a comprehensive guide to having a healthy relationship.
Comments
Post a Comment